Opening Weekend: "Kick-Ass" Review

^^^^ The Quick Video Review ^^^^



...Full "Serving" review coming soon...

Opening Weekend: "The Runaways" Review

...The "quick video review" coming soon...



Appetizer: “The Runaways” is an hour and 49 mins of Kick-Ass Chicks rocking the F*ck Out!!! A Cult-Classic in the Making…


Main Course: Okay. I REALLY wanted to see this movie after a friend on Twitter told me, Kristen Steward and Dakota Fanning were working on a Rock Group Biopic. I didn’t really care who the group was, I just wanted to see those two work together. Later, I found out the project was called “The Runaways”…

In all honesty, I never was a fan of Kristen Steward’s acting but after “Adventureland”, I realized she has the power to command attention. Not to mention, she plays a convincing “under-the-influence” character, whether she’s really under or not is irrelevant, it just transfers well to film. Dakota Fanning, on the other hand, had me as a fan since “I am Sam.” I loved Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie Stroud in Rob Zombie’s “Halloween” remake.

Going in to the movie, I knew of The Runaways’ music but not much on their backstory so I didn’t know what to expect…

Movie starts.

Young girl, 14, runs while she holds her privates. Blood drips down her leg. She is Cherie Currie (Dakota Fanning). Her sister, Marie Currie, same age, runs her into a fast food bathroom and helps her clean up. She takes off her panties and hands them to Cherie. After putting them on, they finish washing up then leave.

Across town, another girl, 16, poses in the dressing room mirror. This is Joan Jett (Kristen Steward). She likes the Leather Jacket and pants she has on. Almost makes her feel strong. Powerful. As the store clerk knocks on the door, she pulls her school pants over the leather ones. She walks out the room and makes her way to the counter. While she pays for the jacket, the store clerk notices the leather jeans she’s wearing. He goes to call the cops. She books out the store. When she get half way down the street, she screams with excitement to the top of her lungs.

Around the corner stands a 13 year old Backpack-rocking, cigarette smoking Tomboy, Tammy. Joan shows off the new outfit to her. To “keep the good times rolling”, Tammy pulls a paper bag and glue out her backpack. Joan makes a face of pure joy.

Hours fly by, they are laying under street lights, huffing the time away in silence. All of a sudden, Joan breaks out into singing The Kinks’ “Lola”. As she sings, she slowly moves her head onto Tammy’s shoulder. Tammy turns to look into Joan’s eyes.

They share a moment…then their lips lock.

Joan suddenly breaks this passionate exchange, as if she was suppose to. They smile, acting like nothing even happened. She goes back to singing.

…Cherie is in the bathroom doing her make up. We see she’s making her self up to resemble the David Bowie album cover that’s on the floor. Marie walks in, stunned at what she’s witnessing.

Marie: “You look like a dude.”
Cherie: “Maybe I am.”

She messes up on her face. Marie takes in upon herself to help her sister fix her makeup. They share a moment…

This sets the mood for the whole movie.

Do whatever’s in your heart. If it counters what society considers the norm, fuck them, they will adjust.

Sure enough when history brought Joan Jett and Cherie Currie together, the world did adjust. Though they were young, the sex and drug-powered all-girl punk bank, “The Runaways” moved through what was consider a “boys’ genre”…and they rocked every minute of the way.

Just like the drugs they did, “The Runaways” true story had it’s highs and lows but the movie managed to maintain an entertaining balance.


Side Dishes:

“Why to watch this movie?”

• Believable performances.
• Amazing dialogue.
• Epic one-liners.
• Phenomenal 70’s music.
• Wardrobe and set-designs were on point.
• Beautifully shot scenes.
• Great Camera Work.

“Why NOT to watch this movie?”

• Dakota Fanning, being that she’s only 16 in reality, may make you uneasy with her extremely sexual/drug induced performance of “Cherie Currie”.
• You can’t sit through same-sex sensual interactions on film.
• The ending seemed a bit rushed.

Dessert: Final Verdict - WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!

Everything about “The Runaways” screams Cult-Classic! Besides Kristen Steward (Joan Jett), Dakota Fanning (Cherie Currie), Stella Maeve (Sandy West), Scout Taylor-Compton (Lita Ford), and Alia Shawkat (Robin) doing a Kick-Ass Job embodying “The Runaways”, the directing and camera work was exceptionally great.

As long as you can see pass the fact that Dakota Fanning is underage, you will thoroughly enjoy this movie.


Doggie Bag:

“What Stood Out?”

• The Script and Directing, all done by the virtually new-comer, Floria Sigismond.
• Michael Shannon, “Kim Fowley”, basically “Lester Bangs (Almost Famous)/Kelly (Girl Next Door)” all rolled into one. He has 98% of the movie’s best one-liners and NAILS every last one of them.
• Kristen Steward, “Joan Jett”, as I said before, she knows how to command attention. Not to mention, she breaks down extremely well on camera. With time, she will be an amazing leading actress.
• Scout Taylor-Compton, “Lita Ford”, her and Dakota Fanning’s character have a “Meltdown” fight towards the end of the movie…this scene shows she will only get better and you will be seeing A LOT more of her in the years to come.
• Dakota Fanning, “Cherie Currie”, I mean…she was born to play this role. She shined EVERY chance she got and completely lost her self in this part. Her performance told you “I am NOT Dakota Fanning, I AM Cherie Currie.”…and you believed her every minute of the way. In all honesty, I think she deserves an Oscar for this role.

“The Runaways” definitely pushes the envelope…just as the underage, all-girl punk band did in the 70s. This movie has heavy drug use and extremely sexual tones, all involved minors but that is not what’s to be celebrated. The courage this young girl group had in the 70s to be exactly who/what they wanted to be and Kim Fowley, who that had faith in their vision, is what‘s to be celebrated.

This courage is mirrored with the very production of the “The Runaways” film. It takes a group of courageous people to be willing to retell such a controversial, yet important, piece of history. They took a chance and it paid off because the movie is wonderful.

Please go to the theaters and lose yourself in this provocative, yet factual, work of art because it deserves your undivided attention.

Opening Weekend Meal: "Clash of the Titans"

^^^ The quick video review ^^^

Opening Weekend Meal: "Clash of the Titans"

Appetizer: “Clash of the Titans” was, basically, a Big-Budget 2 hour Porno…


Main Course: …So. I’m not going to lie. I’ve been looking forward to seeing this movie since I saw the trailer a few months back. Not because I believed it would have an amazing story or even good acting. I really wanted to be entertained by loads of action, CGI, and 3D.

No need to sugar coat it.

I mean, Sam Worthington is the lead actor. Nothing against the man but I’ve always found his performances to lack emotional connection. Anyways, when this weekend showed up, I was already sold on this movie. The first time I tried to watch, it was sold out. Today, I bought my tickets early. Even showed up to the theater early to get a good seat. A few people that sat around me, talked through the trailers…but they were pretty funny. At the least, I was assured this evening’s movie experience would be mildly entertaining due to the audience…

Movie starts…

A fisherman, Spyros (HEY! It‘s that one guy from “Lost World: Jurassic Park“, Pete Postlethwaite!), finds a box while at sea. He pulls it into his ship, opens it to revile a dead woman and baby but…oh, oh *he pokes the baby*

…OH THE BABY’S NOT DEAD!!!

He keeps him.

Skip forward, the baby is now an adolescent. His name is Perseus. While he helps his family, the sky catches his attention. He begins to hold his heart as he gazes, his father catches this. In this moment, Spyros tells him that his journey is out there where his eyes are fixated…but he won’t be able to go on it until he grows up.

No lie, old dude basically rambled on to him about a “journey”, that he wouldn’t go on until later, all based on little man looking at the sky. So now it‘s spelled out for us that Perseus has to go on a journey.

Skip forward, the adolescent is a young man. Perseus (Sam Worthington: “Terminator: Salvation”, “Avatar”) is a fisherman. While he helps his dad on the ship, it’s obvious that he is better and exceptionally stronger than his father. Shortly after, Spyros notices they haven’t caught any fishes. In a rage, he curses the Gods for their lack of food then he notices a statue of Zeus on a hill. He thinks of it as a sign. That thought runs short, when they realize men are in the process of tearing it down.

As soon as the statue falls into the water, something comes out…

IT’S HADES (Ralph Fiennes: “Harry Potter”, “The Hurt Locker”)!!!

While Hades suspends in the air, he has an amazing transformation into multiple flying creatures. These creatures kill all the men on the hill. During that process, he accidentally kills Perseus family.

Perseus screams, “NOOOOOOOO!!!!”

…This is about when my brain shut off. In that moment, I realize we, the audience, are in for “that” ride. You know. That auto-pilot trip, no twist, no turns, no surprises. Just a straight-forward, boring story until the exciting fight scenes.

ANNNNNNDDDDD…

I was right. The movie follows that same formula, about 20-25 minutes of “snooze” then 10-15 minutes of “WOW”, repeat, until the ending credits…

There is more to the story…but it’s so by-the-book that reading about it will bore you. Not to mention, I can’t talk about the cool scenes. Then you won’t be surprise with what the movie actually has to offer.

Trust me when I say, it’s formulaic.


Side Dishes:

“Why to watch that movie?”

• Cool CGI (especially in 3D).
• To see what all the fuzz is about.
• You really want to watch another “Sam Worthington” movie.
• You want to see another 3D movie, saw “Alice…”, “Avatar”, and “How to Train…” so this was the only one left.
• Three words: “Release the Kraken!”
• Had some pretty funny parts.

“Why NOT to watch this movie?”

• The acting was terrible.
• The dialogue was worst.
• Every scene was predictable.
• Not an equal amount of action in comparison to the down time.
• Movie tickets are expensive, and 3D cost 3-6 dollars more.
• 90% of the “pretty funny” parts…weren’t meant to be.

Dessert: Final Verdict - Tied (same number of reasons “to watch” as “not to watch”)

Tie-Breaker - Instead of me telling you whether or not to see this movie, allow me to explain why I compared it to a Porno.

You buy, and watch, porn for the performers and the action NOT the acting.

When the performers begin to read lines, “act”, 9 times out of 10, the mood is killed. From the dialogue in “Clash of the Titans”, one can tell this was not written to be an “Oscar-Winning” Epic…but it tried to act like one instead of giving people more of what they wants in the beginning, Action. In other words, CGI.

Look. If I’m going to be eye raped, at least give me two hours of poundage. Don’t try and sweet talk me.

All and all, “Clash of the Titans” was nothing more than a B-movie with a Blockbuster CGI/3D budget. Sadly, it wants to be more and that’s where it fails.